revised draft I welcome any criticism to help me improve it.



THE FLOWERS

By Dagoberto Gilb

......... It is a bit funny to think that women are viewed as the underdogs, unable to care for themselves, and even helpless. Men have no idea how smart women are. They can waltz through life having doors opened and bills paid because they can look pretty and produce children. I have lived on both sides of the feminist vista point, and I prefer being cared for. I have done the hippy thing, been in a bad marriage, then moved on to support two children while I went to school and worked six to twelve hours a day. I can take care of myself and my family on my own, although the truth is, sharing the responsibilities with someone else who thinks I am wonderful makes life a whole lot nicer. In the book The Flowers  by Dagoberto Gilb, Sylvia, the mother of the main character , may be considered as a helpless little Hispanic woman. In contrast,  I do not view her that way. Women have been able to get men to take care of them for thousands of years, and Sylvia is no exception. She is very capable of using her attributes to get a lifestyle that allows her to do the things she enjoys. The women in the pornography magazines belonging to the main character are even manipulating men. It is not the paper in the magazines that is making money, it is the women who know how to entice men and make them forget about everything else. With far less effort than the pornography models, Sylvia is able to have a nice home, a car, and the funds to support her shopping habit. She even has a son that loves her and admires her, and it is not because he gets a daily gourmet meal, or caring conversation everyday.  However,  he does seem to have a real appreciation for her well kept appearance.  From a Reader Response perspective critically analyzing feminism in the novel, the modern feminist has become too extreme in their quest for a higher education and higher paying jobs. They have  jeopardized some of the feminine leverage that women have had since the story of Adam and Eve.
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. .......With little scholastic drive Sylvia is able to influence her son, Sonny’s education with a minimal amount of effort.  She is not interested in investing her time in his education. However, she is entertained by his interest in learning French and her charm to motivate him . When Sonny tells Sylvia, "J'aime la pizza, [love the pizza]” (152), he tells us, "She laughed...I liked that she laughed, because it proved French was funny and not only to me." (152). This laughter coupled with endearing conversation and physical charm seems to be influence enough to encourage him to continues his study of French.
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........ In the past, Sylvia has been able to create a bond with her son that is based on her appearance, rather than interaction.  Sonny describes her as  "...around for maybe an hour or two, and she'd either change clothes and leave or be so tired she went into her bedroom and went to sleep"(6). She took little interest in his likes; as a result, when she introduces him to her new husband, Cloyd, she fishes for her son's interests by saying,  “ Maybe he likes baseball…I think that’s his favorite.”(12).  It is as if she were introducing a child she has never met. Yet, in contrast, Sonny is grateful for any little crumb she drops for him, even when he is able to sneak a few chips, and as a result she gives him a several dollars and sends him somewhere else to eat. Sylvia has done such a good job of presenting herself as a show piece that Sonny does not even question her lack of parenting interest.
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. .......Well kept appearance is a strength that has been under rated and at times discarded by modern feminists. I believe that appearance is probably a woman’s most valuable asset. In the book, Sonny loves to see Sylvia’s hands when she has had her nails done, and notices when she has bought a new dress, even the way she smells. I was amazed that a young boy would notice as much detail as is described on page 76 when he says, "It seemed to me she was wearing another new dress, and she was smelling washed and bath-oiled and lotioned and misted, and the high heels were glossier and redder than her lipstick.".   Her looks help her to influence Sonny to lie for her and keep secrets for her, about her lack of time spent cooking and the time spent out of the house for personal interests. The time and money she spends shopping and primping is a small price to pay for those secrets. Males in all species have a  strong positive reaction to an attractive female, and this makes it easier for women to negotiate with men.
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......... Sex appeal is a huge asset, and Sylvia uses it to purchase another opportunity to improve her fashion of living, when she remarries. Cloyd believes he has been responsible for their relationship. He tells his friend, Bud, “I love to eat them tacos, and now I even got [sic??????] myself married to a pretty little Mexican gal” (51). It is  audacious  to believe that he manipulated her in to marring him. I would be inclined to believe that there are more  "Mexican gals" with children living near poverty, than there are men that make a decent living and want to marry them.  This makes it more likely that Sylvia had to entice Cloyd to get his attention, otherwise he would have interviewed for cooking skills, rather than making his choice based on looks and a generic reputation for Hispanic women.
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. .......Women have a saying that, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," and have used this bond men have with food to their advantage, portraying themselves as slaving to present  meals, heightening their counterparts appreciation. Cloyd is completely oblivious that the authentic Mexican food he married Sylvia for comes from a can. Behind Cloyd's back she even tells Sonny, “He doesn’t even know I buy este chile at the grocery store…he thinks I make it…” (51) and then is able to sway Sonny to cover for her. Consequently, Cloyd is appreciative that she  devotes her time and skill to prepare wonderful meals. Like most men Cloyd is easly controled by his stomic, and his stomic is controled by Sylvia.
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. .......Sylvia's manipulitive skills enable her to easily influence Cloyd when she is inclined to. In a conversation with Sonny she asks him if he needs a new T.V.  Then asks him, “You want me to make him [Cloyd] get you a better one?” (73). She is so casual about having enough control over men to make them do things, that the reader nearly takes it for granted. Cloyd himself is blinded by his lust for Sylvia at the start of their marriage, and he appears to be groveling when he promises ‘something big’ to Sonny, and again when he offers the desk for his room. The relationship between Cloyd and Sonny is not comfortable, yet Cloyd is going outside of his comfort zone to look good for Sylvia. Women's ability to manipulate men has made the difference between being kept in a mud hut and being cared for in a comfortable home.
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. .......An example of  the  balance between control and inducing resentment, Sylvia is ability to  recognize when Cloyd may have gone too far to be comfortable. Thus, when Cloyd’s promise for ‘something big’ becomes a trip to ’Notre Dame’ Sylvia attempts to influence Sonny to relinquish  the idea in an attempt to  fend off any resentment on Cloyd's part, as a result of being taken advantage of when he was vulnerable. This skill is an advantage for Sylvia that allows her to maintain peace with in the home.
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. .......By manipulating events in their home, Sylvia is able to also control Cloyd's topics for argument. When he is upset that her time is unaccounted for, he takes a position on a subject as trivial as toilet paper usage. Sylvia lets him rage about it, but later laughs behind his back. She has chosen the subject that he is in control of and is able to convey the allusion that he is in control of her.

........Knowing when to speak and how to speak is a skill that is taught in schools and job training. However, wives and mothers have refined and handed down the skill for generations. Sylvia can silently listen while  Cloyd unleashes his racism to a tenant, even though his comments are degrading to her. In contrast, she is able to coax Sonny to lie with a few skillfully used enduring comments. The effectiveness of this is most apparent when Sylvia is caught off guard in a conversation about Notre Dame and fails to utilize her persuasive skills. She tells Sonny, “...please, what are you talking about?”(153) conveying her disapproval. Sonny responds by talking back to her, which is rare. Sylvia has been able to prevent conflict with him most of the time with pleasant verbiage.
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. .......I admire Sylvia’s ability to refine feminine manipulation to a fine art. My generation has fought for women’s rights all of my life,  and as a result I now see my comrades in a lesser light. They have traded the natural feminine skills that Sylvia has for well paying jobs, and nice homes, stress, and  children that are misbehaved and unmotivated.  Women simply went to far and gave up some of what made life good. Men never asked to change jobs, even though their life span in the past has been an average of ten years shorter than women as a result of stress. Consequently, when millions of women walk away from their domestic jobs, it left the position unfilled or inadequately filled. I am not saying that women should not work and just stay home to serve their families. Women have come a long way and should be proud of what has been accomplished, but they need to take a little more responsibility for natural female duties. Every other animal on this planet knows the importance of their roles in families, and if they fly away from a nest because they are tired of sitting on the eggs, their species will die off. If women are less focused on the fight to live like men, and more focused on family, then we can go back to out living men, and have them treat us like goddesses on occasion. We can use some of Sylvia’s talents to make our lives less stressful and more enjoyable. After all, once we have proven our point and gotten what we want, it is best to stop fighting and use what we have learned to make a compromise.