revised draft "The Flowers"

Kelly Fawcett

3-22-11

Page 1

Instructor Stacy Knapp
English 1b
Gender Criticism

THE FLOWERS

By Dagoberto Gilb

......... It is a ironic that in this decade there are people that view women  as the underdogs, unable to care for themselves, and even helpless. Men have no idea how smart women are. They can waltz through life having doors opened and bills paid because they look pretty and can produce children. I have lived on both sides of the feminist vista point, and I prefer being cared for. I have done the hippy thing, been in a bad marriage, then moved on to support two children while I went to school full time and worked six to twelve hours a day. I can take care of myself and my family on my own. In contrast, sharing the responsibilities with someone else who thinks I am wonderful makes life far more enjoyable. From a Reader Response perspective critically analyzing feminism in the novel The Flowers by Dagoberto Gilb, the modern feminists have become too extreme in their quest for a higher education and higher paying jobs. They have jeopardized some of the feminine leverage that women have utilized since the story of Adam and Eve.

……. In the book Sylvia, the mother of the protagonist may be considered a helpless little Hispanic woman. In contrast, I do not view her in that light. Women have been able to cajole men into take care of them for thousands of years, and Sylvia was no exception. She was very capable of using her attributes to get a lifestyle that allowed her to do the things she enjoyed. The women in the pornography magazines belonging to Sonny, the protagonis,  manipulate men. It is not the paper in the magazines that is making money, more specifically it is the women who know how to entice men to the point of forgetting all except sexual drive. With far less effort than the pornography models, Sylvia was able to have a nice home, a car, and the funds to support her shopping habit. She even had a son that loved and admired her, and it was not because he got daily gourmet meals, or a caring conversation everyday. However, he did seem to have a real appreciation for her well kept appearance.


. .......With little scholastic drive Sylvia was able to influence Sonny's education with a minimal amount of effort. She was not interested in investing her time in his education. However, she was entertained by his interest in learning the French language and her charm seemed to motivates him.  When Sonny told Sylvia, "J'aime la pizza, [love the pizza]” (152), he tells us, "She laughed...I liked that she laughed, because it proved French was funny and not only to me" (152). This laughter coupled with endearing conversation and physical charm seemed to be influence enough to encourage him to continue his study of French.
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........ In the past, Sylvia had been able to create a bond with her son that was based on her appearance, rather than interaction.  Sonny described her as being "...around for maybe an hour or two, and she'd either change clothes and leave or be so tired she went into her bedroom and went to sleep"(6). She took little interest in his likes; as a result when she introduced him to her new husband, Cloyd, she fished for her son's interests by making the conjecture, “ Maybe he likes baseball…I think that’s his favorite.”(12). It is as if she were  introducing a child she had never met. Yet, in contrast, Sonny was grateful for any little crumb she drops for him, even when he was able to sneak a few chips, and as a result she gave him several dollars and sent him somewhere else to eat, rather than take time to have a meal with him. Sylvia had done such a good job of presenting herself as a show piece that Sonny did not question her lack of parenting interest.

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. .......A well kept appearance is a strength that has been under rated and at times discarded by modern feminists. I believe that appearance is probably a woman’s most valuable asset when interacting with men. In the book, Sonny loved to see Sylvia’s hands when she had her nails done, and noticed when she had bought a new dress, even the way she smelld. I was amazed that a young boy would notice as much detail as is described in the book, when he said, "It seemed to me she was wearing another new dress, and she was smelling washed and bath-oiled and lotioned and misted, and the high heels were glossier and redder than her lipstick."(76). Her looks helped her to influence Sonny to lie and keep secrets for her, regarding her lack of time spent cooking and the time spent out of the house for personal interests. Sylvia’s investment of time and money in shopping and primping is a small price to pay for those deceptions. In many species the males use bright colors and plumage to entice prospective mates. However, in humans women have the advantage. For centuries women have charished painted, dyed, and refining their attire to become more appealing. Now thanks to the feminist movement, women can also choose their own mates. Furthermore, males in all species have a strong positive reaction to an attractive female. Consequently, this simplifies negotiation with men for women.


......... Sex appeal being a huge asset, Sylvia used it to purchase another opportunity to improve her fashion of living, when she remarried. Cloyd believed he had been responsible for their relationship. He told his friend, Bud, “I love to eat them tacos, and now I even got myself [sic] married to a pretty little Mexican gal” (51). It is audacious to believe that he manipulated her in to marring him. I would be inclined to believe there are more "Mexican gals" with children living near poverty, than men that make a decent living and want to marry them. This makes it more likely that Sylvia had to entice Cloyd to get his attention, otherwise he would have interviewed for cooking skills, rather than making his choice based on looks and a generic reputation for Hispanic women.
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. .......Women have a saying that, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," and have used this bond men have with food to their advantage, often portraying themselves as slaving to present meals, heightening their counterparts appreciation. In the same manner, Sylvia deceived Cloyd when she served him commercially prepared food. Cloyd was completely oblivious that the authentic Mexican food he married Sylvia for came from  cans. Behind Cloyd's back she told Sonny, “He doesn’t even know I buy este chile at the grocery store…he thinks I make it…” (51) and then she was able to sway Sonny to conceal her secret. Consequently, Cloyd was appreciative that she devoted her time and skill to prepare wonderful meals. Like most men Cloyd was easily controlled by his stomach, and his stomach was controlled by Sylvia.

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. .......Sylvia's manipulative skills enabled her to easily influence Cloyd when she was inclined to. In a conversation with Sonny she asked him if he needed a new television.  Then asked, “You want me to make him [Cloyd] get you a better one?” (73). She was so casual about the control she had over men, to make them do things, that the reader nearly takes it for granted. Cloyd was blinded by his lust for Sylvia at the start of their marriage, and he appeard to be groveling when he promised "something big" to Sonny, and again when he offerd a desk for his room. The relationship between Cloyd and Sonny was not comfortable, yet Cloyd went outside of his comfort zone to appear more desirable for Sylvia. Women's ability to manipulate men has advanced them form being kept in a mud hut to being cherished and cared for in a comfortable home.

. .......An example of the balance between manipulation and inducing resentment is, Sylvia’s ability to recognize when Cloyd may have gone beyond his comfort zone. Thus, when Cloyd’s promise for "something big" became a trip to Notre Dame Sylvia attempted to influence Sonny to relinquish the idea and fend off any resentment on Cloyd's part, as a result of being taken advantage of when he was vulnerable. This skill was an  advantage for Sylvia that allowed her to maintain peace with in the home. In addition, by manipulating events in their home, Sylvia was able to control Cloyd's topics for argument. When a crisis arose about her time that was unaccounted for, Cloyd took a position on a subject as trivial as toilet paper usage. Sylvia let him rage about it, but later lauged behind his back. She had chosen the subject that he was in control of and was able to convey the allusion that he was dominate over her.


........Knowing when to speak and how to speak is a skill that is taught through out educational institutes and in job training programs. However, wives and mothers have refined and handed down the skill for generations. As an example, Sylvia could silently listen while Cloyd unleashes his racism to a tenant. In her defense, even though his comments were degrading, she politely stated, “I don’t think we shouldn't be talking about this…Can we please not? For me and Mary [sic]?”(53).  If she had injected her honest disapproval of the confersation it would not have been as effective.  In contrast, she was able to coax Sonny to lie with a few skillfully used enduring comments. The effectiveness of this is most apparent when Sylvia was caught off guard in a conversation about Notre Dame and faild to utilize her persuasive skills. She told Sonny, “...what are you talking about?”(153) conveying her disapproval. Sonny had a negative responds and became defensive with her, which was rare. Sylvia had been able to prevent conflict with him most of the time with pleasant verbiage.

 . .......I admire Sylvia’s ability to refine feminine manipulation to a fine art. My generation has fought for women’s rights through out my life, and  as a result I now see my comrades in a lesser light. They have traded the natural feminine skills that Sylvia had for well paying jobs, nice homes, stress, and children that are misbehaved and unmotivated. Moreover, women simply went to far and gave up some of what was simplifing their lives. Men never asked to change jobs, even though their life span in the past has been an average of ten years shorter than women, resulting from stress. Consequently, when millions of women walked away from their domestic jobs, it left the position unfilled or inadequately filled. I am not saying that women should not work and just stay home to serve their families. Women have come a long way and should be proud of what has been accomplished, but they need to take more responsibility for natural female duties. Every other animal on this planet knows the importance of their roles in families, and if they fly away from a nest because they are tired of sitting on the eggs, their species will die off. If women are less focused on the fight to live like men, and more focused on family, then we can improve the family structure, go back to out living men, and have them treat us like goddesses on occasion. Women can use some of the talents that Sylvia utilizes to make life less stressful and more enjoyable. After all, once women have proven their point and gotten what is deserved, it is best to apply what has been learned to pursuade men to make a compromise that will fulfill the need for equality and support a healthy family life.